Participants saddle up to the third annual Senior Speed Dating event at Grey Bears in Live Oak on Thursday. (Grace Stetson — Santa Cruz Local)

“It seems like, all of the sudden, speed dating is popping up. It’s a much more exciting and interesting way to meet people who are interested in a match,” she said.

For Jim, a 93-year-old widower, he was mainly seeking a “woman companion” rather than another long-term love. He fondly reminisced about his sweetheart whom he “married” every year on their June 1 anniversary. “I want someone to talk to, someone to hug once in a while,” he shared.

At Grey Bears’ third annual Senior Speed Dating event, more than 90 people age 55 and older registered and about 40 attended — likely because of the rainy afternoon, organizers said. 

As part of the organization’s Seniors Night Out series, the speed dating event launched in 2023 following a showing of the 2014 documentary “The Age of Love.” It follows 30 seniors ages 70 to 90 as they search for romantic partnerships through speed dating. Grey Bears’ event last year drew 60 people. 

“We were realizing that there were three years of time, coming out of COVID-19, where people just weren’t able to connect with one another,” said Grey Bears’ Development Manager Kayla Traber.  “It brings so much joy to see others really have an opportunity to connect and laugh with each other,” she said.

Traber said that the event is just one part of the nonprofit’s greater mission to support seniors in living healthy and meaningful lives. As such, it is not marketed as a Valentine’s Day specific event. Instead, it is a chance to find community with others in a post-pandemic world.

Participants gather at Grey Bears’ Senior Speed Dating event Feb. 13. (Grace Stetson — Santa Cruz Local)

Traber said the last two iterations of the event brought “overwhelmingly positive” feedback from attendees and community members. Many attendees asked for this type of event to happen even more often. In response, the organization hosts quarterly Seniors Night Out events with the goal of bringing social connection opportunities for people to get out of the house and meet other seniors.

Thursday afternoon, a warehouse behind the Grey Bears thrift store on Chanticleer Avenue was transformed into a space for friendship and romance. Pink and red tablecloths, roses in vases, and a whole spread of snacks and refreshments were there for attendees to nosh on.

Dozens of seniors delved into a new chance at finding partnership, whether that be romantic or platonic.

Match cards, name tags and waivers are part of the deal. (Grace Stetson — Santa Cruz Local)

‘Someone to have coffee with’

Upon entry, each attendee received a number, which they could write on their nametags alongside their first name. From there, every participant received a page where they could write down information from the people they have spoken to and would like to keep in touch with.

As Traber explained, all of the participants sit at one “long, snaking table,” with one side dedicated for those with limited mobility who can stay seated and still participate. The participants then speak with the person seated across from them for five minutes, before the mobile side gets up and makes its way down the line.

While the theme of the event may have slanted toward romance for many participants, there were also natural platonic relationships blossoming in the warehouse. Almost immediately when 68-year-old Lydia first sat down next to 65-year-old Nita, the two women were giddily sharing stories and conversing about their expectations for the event.

“It would be great to find a romantic partner, sure, but I want to be friends first,” said Lydia, with Nita agreeing that they were each seeking companionship, and someone to have coffee with. 

Both women came to the event with different romantic backgrounds — Lydia divorced and is back on the dating scene after five years. Nita became a widow two years ago. However, even from the very beginning of the event, the two were able to find and build camaraderie that they weren’t necessarily expecting.

“That’s the beauty of an event like this,” said Lydia. “You have to get out of the house, get out of your normal — nothing ventured is nothing gained.”

Established in 1973, Grey Bears’ goal has been to improve the health and well-being of seniors within the community through a variety of opportunities and programs, including food and meal deliveries, volunteerism, resource conservation, and recycling.

The main arm of Grey Bears’ mission is its Healthy Food Program, which has delivered more than 110 million pounds of food to Santa Cruz County seniors, veterans, families, and farmworkers. Residents age 55 and older can join a healthy food program for $45 annually.

More events for seniors and other residents are on Grey Bears’ calendar and newsletter.  

As Traber noted, Santa Cruz County’s senior population is growing. It’s important to continue to build spaces and events like this to advocate for more camaraderie amongst community members, she said.

“This is an event that has to be truly experienced to feel the breadth of it,” Traber said. “People are really opening themselves up to meeting someone new.”

Registration maxed out at a speed dating event Thursday at Grey Bears. (Grace Stetson — Santa Cruz Local)

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